I feel as though I should create a separate statement for the other section of my beliefs regarding children; exactly how I might raise one. Over the past six months or so; I've felt rather scared or hesitant of that hopefully eventual moment and opportunity, when I can one day help create life. Though the main source of my fear is exactly how to raise a child right. It seems so high stake to me, that if I even did one thing wrong, it could change things for the worse in a big way. But as I think back to my childhood, as to what actually defined me; I become almost belittled. I can't quite figure that main reason I turned out to be the way I am. Not to say that the way I am is the right way, although I am certainly happy with the way I am. It's that I can't pinpoint things that I could take personally to use with my future offspring. Sure, my mum is incredibly loving, but I also have two father figures that I don't really like or respect, and it concerns me most that I have no template to base legitimate fatherly love on, the kind that I wish I received. I'm also rather puzzled as to how to pass on my beliefs to children, like, I can't quite figure if I would want my children to become vegetarian, I mean, I guess it's their choice, but perhaps their mother would be vegetarian and it would just be a culture of sorts to not eat meat, and I would do my best to educate the child/ren on the moral reasons as to why I don't eat meat, among other ethical and moral points in general. That's also where I find an issue, I can't see teaching morality to work like "sit around Johnny, I'm going to tell you what I believe in.. and you better agree with me or you're grounded!" because I again, would want the child to develop their own moral compass, in the same way I formed mine. I learned an extremely good analogy today regarding a different issue, but it applies to what I am saying: "you can't steer the wheel when someone else is driving, you can only put up signs to suggest changes to their path or hazards along the way". I guess I would need to learn to be more subtle as opposed to being so opinionated.
So really, I hope that when it comes; fatherhood will be an opportunity to learn and grow, because obviously it's such a sharp difference from life beforehand. That I hopefully would be a good enough person to pass on that to a person whom I have helped create.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Alright, just to get this out of the way. I do not really like children.
As much as I kind of should; as I'm supposed to love everyone, a lot of children annoy me. My nephew, Oliver, is the one exception to the rule, and he proves that not every single toddler needs to be a little shit, who cries for everything. I'm stubborn in regards to walking around the shopping centre; if I hear a child crying, I always find endless joy in seeing the child's parent ignoring him/her, nothing else makes me happier. I guess it stems down to my easily agitated nature. I'm not that person who is going to give someone what they want if they go about it the wrong way. If someone asks me for help without at least doing so politely, I would like to think that I would ignore them. Sure, some children wouldn't understand the convention of etiquette, so I fully realize that I should excuse them, but I don't. I also realize that I am extremely contradictory to my previous entry, but that's just the way I am. I have good days and bad days. But in the end, when I hopefully eventually have a child, I'm not going to be that parent who lets the child do whatever. It's not too hard to teach a child manners. Little bastard toddlers turn into bastard teenagers and they turn into bastard adults. It's all about being a good parent, people. So people, when your kid wants a lollipop and you refuse initially, don't give into mindless tantrums in order to get piece and quiet. Because guess what? You're going to be suffering them a lot more in the future if you unconsciously teach that child that tantrums are the correct way to obtain items they want.