I feel as though I should create a separate statement for the other section of my beliefs regarding children; exactly how I might raise one. Over the past six months or so; I've felt rather scared or hesitant of that hopefully eventual moment and opportunity, when I can one day help create life. Though the main source of my fear is exactly how to raise a child right. It seems so high stake to me, that if I even did one thing wrong, it could change things for the worse in a big way. But as I think back to my childhood, as to what actually defined me; I become almost belittled. I can't quite figure that main reason I turned out to be the way I am. Not to say that the way I am is the right way, although I am certainly happy with the way I am. It's that I can't pinpoint things that I could take personally to use with my future offspring. Sure, my mum is incredibly loving, but I also have two father figures that I don't really like or respect, and it concerns me most that I have no template to base legitimate fatherly love on, the kind that I wish I received. I'm also rather puzzled as to how to pass on my beliefs to children, like, I can't quite figure if I would want my children to become vegetarian, I mean, I guess it's their choice, but perhaps their mother would be vegetarian and it would just be a culture of sorts to not eat meat, and I would do my best to educate the child/ren on the moral reasons as to why I don't eat meat, among other ethical and moral points in general. That's also where I find an issue, I can't see teaching morality to work like "sit around Johnny, I'm going to tell you what I believe in.. and you better agree with me or you're grounded!" because I again, would want the child to develop their own moral compass, in the same way I formed mine. I learned an extremely good analogy today regarding a different issue, but it applies to what I am saying: "you can't steer the wheel when someone else is driving, you can only put up signs to suggest changes to their path or hazards along the way". I guess I would need to learn to be more subtle as opposed to being so opinionated.
So really, I hope that when it comes; fatherhood will be an opportunity to learn and grow, because obviously it's such a sharp difference from life beforehand. That I hopefully would be a good enough person to pass on that to a person whom I have helped create.